I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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