So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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