You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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