I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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