Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
actually, I'm a sock model
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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