Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize