Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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