just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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