2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
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I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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