Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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