I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
they're like a gay fantastic four
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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