I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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