just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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