Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Drunk is a universal language darling
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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