Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize