i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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