This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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