Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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