I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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