Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
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how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it glows. i had to have it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize