Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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