why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize