sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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