Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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