lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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