'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize