Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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