they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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