3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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