I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize