She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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