I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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