hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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