The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize