Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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