you have to choose: penises or morals?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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