where am i from again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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