I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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