Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize