Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
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genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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