i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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