I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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