i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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