I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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