Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize