My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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