It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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