I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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