I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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