His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize