does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
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I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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